Jeff Foxworthy

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“You Might Be a Redneck” #1

If you have a complete set of salad bowls, and they all say “Cool Whip” on the side… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #2

If a tornado goes through your neighborhood and it does $100,000 worth of improvements… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #3

If your wife has ever said to you, “Come and git this transmission outta here so I can take a bath”… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #4

If your dog and your wallet are both on a chain… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #5

If your dad walks you to school because you’re both in the same grade… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #6

If you see a sign, “Say No to Crack” and it reminds you to pull up your jeans… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #7

If you’ve ever financed a tattoo… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #8

If directions to your house include, “Here, you turn off the paved road”… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #9

If every day someone comes to your front door mistakenly thinking you’re having a yard sale… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #10

If you’ve ever made change in the offering plate… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #11

If you walk your dog and you both use the tree at the end of the street… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #12

If you go to the family reunion to pick up women… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #13

If someone asks for your ID and you show them your belt buckle… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #14

If you have ever cut your grass and found a car… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #15

If your wife says, “I’m game” – and you shoot her… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #16

If you’ve ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #17

If you’ve ever used your ironing board for a buffet table… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #18

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #19

If you had to miss fifth grade graduation because you had jury duty… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #20

If you’ve ever said to the preacher, “How’s it hangin’?”… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #21

If you’ve ever taken a six pack of beer to a funeral… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #22

If you smoked at your wedding… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #23

If you have been on TV more than five times describing what the tornado sounded like… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #24

If you’ve ever been too drunk to fish… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #25

If you refer to your wife and your mother-in-law as “dual airbags”… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #26

If you owe the taxidermist more than your annual income… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #27

If your daughter’s Barbie dream house has a clothesline in the front yard… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #28

If an episode of Walker Texas Ranger changed your life… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #29

If someone says you have something in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #30

If you own a home that is mobile and fourteen cars that aren’t… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #31

If your dog has a litter of puppies in the living room and no one notices… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #32

If your grandmother can properly execute the sleeper hold… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #33

If you’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #34

If your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #35

If your richest relative buys a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #36

If your wife’s hairdo has ever been destroyed by a ceiling fan… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #37

If your family tree does not fork… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #38

If you refer to the Fifth Grade as “my senior year”… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #39

If your neighbors think you’re a detective because a cop always brings you home… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #40

If you can burp and say your name at the same time… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #41

If you think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 miles an hour… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #42

If you’ve ever taken a can of beer to a job interview… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #43

If you’ve ever had to haul a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister’s honor… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #44

If the UFO hotline limits you to one call per day… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #45

If going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves shoes and a flash light… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #46

If you think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #47

If you smoked during your wedding… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #48

If people ask to hunt in your front yard… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #49

If your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #50

If your two year old has more teeth than you do… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #51

If you have an above ground pool and you fish in it… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #52

If the biggest city you’ve ever been to is WalMart… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #53

If you thought the Unabomber was a wrassler… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #54

If you’ve ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said “concentrate”… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #55

If you help your brother move his refrigerator and the grass underneath has turned yellow… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #56

If you’ve lost more than one tooth opening a beer bottle… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #57

If you think God looks kinda like Hank Williams, Jr… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #58

If you think a bug zapper and a 12-pack is quality entertainment… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #59

If you’ve ever sat on the toilet until your legs fell asleep… you might be a redneck.

“You Might Be a Redneck” #60

If your underwear doubles as a bathing suit… you might be a redneck.